Hello lads and ladies! I’m learning about important dates in history. Wanna be one of them?

I’m a witty kind of chap, who likes nothing more than star gazing with the right person.

The first thing people usually notice about me is my energetic personality, closely followed by my smashing moles. I’m the man for you, if you like great moles and warts, particularly combined with ample baby oil.

I work as a cleaner, helping old ladies. This allows me to exercise my skills: leadership and arresting bad guys.

    My life goals include:

  • Star in the next Star Wars film.
  • Fall in love with you
  • Become the best cleaner I can be
  • Help all the old ladies in the world

If you’re the right person for me, you’ll be remarkable and loving. You won’t be afraid to meet my parents and will have a healthy respect for the environment.

My ideal date would involve boxing in Wales with a short person by my side. While we’re there, I admire your slimy fingers whilst feeling I’m the luckiest man on the planet.

Let me tell you about a funny thing that happened to me last week. I was just helping an elderly across the road when I was hit by a car. I needed three stitches. BOOM!